Zak'isms: The Best of Zak Bagans


Happy Halloween/Samhain, y'all!

I thought we'd have a little giggle on Halloween by appreciating all that is special about Zak Bagans of "Ghost Adventures." I laugh at the show and have a weekly drinking game based on it, but honestly it's purely entertainment, not ghost hunting, so let's enjoy Zak's wonderful lines from some episodes that prove what an entertainer he is!

"I'm standing here with wax figures, some of whom are dead now." (Madam Tussad's Wax Museum in Vegas)

Ah, Zak, lambie, ALL of the wax figures are dead, dear.

"I'm gonna set it right here in between my legs because that's where I hear the incubus likes it best." (Rams Inn, England)

Ah,
Zak sugar foot, the incubus (male ghost looking for sex) appreciates your accommodating his needs, dear.

"We hear you don't like people in here renovating this place...Why am I being like this to you? Because I don't like bullies! (The Riddle House)

I'm sorry to hear that, Zak, honey. Then, I suppose you're really hating on yourself about now, huh?

"I know what you did to that big guy earlier and I want you to do it to me...You wanna grab my ankles, go ahead!" (Wolfe Manor)

Oh, Twiddlebug, that's what you say to all dates in their apartments.


"This is a guard key...I'm to go open up all the doors and hopefully they will come out and try to kill the guards." (Eastern State Penn)

Zak, sweetums, the invisible ghosties aren't really locked in cells and there are no guards, dear. The prison is closed and has been for some time.

"If this is the portal of hell, why don't you come up out of the ground and get us?" (Bobby Mackeys)

Sweet cheeks, that's a well you're talking to. It leads to water. Satan has a bigger and more fiery entrance to his domain.


*Check out the newest zombie housewives post*

Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Share on Google+
Tags :

Related : Zak'isms: The Best of Zak Bagans

  • Blobsquatch Ratings? ...
  • Blobsquatch Ratings ...
  • LAUGH: Ghost Hunters' DialogueI was contemplating it the other night. What if the ghost hunters on TV are really the top of the industry—considered to be our experts? How might a meeting of these gh ...
  • LAUGH: Ghost Hunters Hunt!**CHECK MY BLOG EVERY FRIDAY FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE--THERE WILL BE MORE INSTALLMENTS**(Another in my series poking loving fun at TVs top ghost hunters. Here’s the fi ...
  • LAUGH: "Finding Bigfoot"Some of y'all are new to my LAUGH series. See the tab at the top that says "LAUGH Comedy Series." I make loving fun of all the paranormal shows. Today, I decided that I ...
  • Funny Named Places Titlis, SwitzerlandThat's right - ya gotta have balls to ride this.Dildo, CanadaThe town that can never have enough AA batteriesWankers Corner, OregonThe one corner you ...
  • Ghost Adventures New Season! Zak tells us, it's time for another season!Disturbed "Down With the Sickness"First off, there's a new show called "Dead Files" is on after "Ghost Adventures." I'm very ...
  • LAUGH: Fact or Faked Testing Techniques(It's Friday the 13th--there's only one blog to be at: Max Evel--enjoy--I totally did!--Freaking brilliant!)BEN: Okay team, let’s go about finding a way to test this fi ...
  • LAUGH: Zak Bagans on Dr. Phil!This is yet another episode of my LAUGH series that pokes loving fun at TV paranormal investigators. NOTE: Do not drink while reading this, you are likely to spew the d ...
  • LAUGH: Ghost Hunters Adventure(another in my series poking loving fun at our TV leaders in ghost hunting)Tonight’s moderator is Josh Gates of “Destination Truth”WARNING: Do not drink while reading t ...
  • LAUGH: Ghost Hunters Swap!Another installment of my series poking loving fun at TV’s ghost hunters (I'm probably going to start doing these less often because I don't want to burn out of material ...
  • Letter From Bigfoot to HumansDear hunters, researchers, weekend campers, and television producers;This is a letter from the target of your obsession, Sasquatch. Not "Squatch;" Sas-quatch!Please let ...
  • Bigfoot Diaries: Thanks For the Stuff  Missing a shovel? Wonder what happened to the kids shoes left at the sand pit in the backyard? Care what became of the ice cooler that fell off the top of your sta ...
  • Zak in Costumes(Classic Zak Lines: "Come and get me Incubus," "Is this the Portal to Hell?" and "Dude, something totally touched me!")Do I need to say more? I love this guy! He makes i ...
  • LAUGH: Finding Bigfoot in the Snow! NEW SPOOF!In honor of tonight's wicked awesome 2-hour special of Animal Planet's "Finding Bigfoot" episode, I'm making a new installment of my LAUGH series. Other installments can ...