First, I must put a disclaimer - I have never ever believed in aliens or UFOs being from other planets. I've never been particularly interested in the concepts and, other than old 50s black and white corny scifi movies, have not been distracted by the genre or concepts. Even as a paranormal investigator, I've not taken any real focus of attention to alien/UFO subjects even though I have seen UFOs that were unexplainable, I still believed they were of this world.
But, then, one day about 1992, I decided I needed to get hypnosis to help me get over an addiction to chocolate (actually in the future I would divorce my husband and lose all cravings for chocolate completely - a symptom of withholding anger). I found a hypnotherapist who would do several sessions to get me through it and perhaps the origins of the dependency on chocolate.
I underwent a hypnosis session and it was quite amazing. I could hear the phone ring, but my mind didn't think "who is going to answer that?" It was just a sound and meant nothing to me. If she didn't ask a question, I said nothing. When I came out of it, she said "how long were you under?" I said "15 minutes?" She showed me the clock. Two hours had passed.
She decided in one session to take me back in time to childhood. She took me back to a small child, perhaps 5 or 6. I was in the bedroom and I looked around, seeing details I had completely forgotten, like the blanket, the canopy on the bed, the place where I left my shoes in the corner, the throw rug, and more. I could feel it and even smell it. The therapist told me to look around and just take it in. In my perspective, I was lying on my bed and I turned my head to the left to see a grey alien about six or eight feet away.
He was flanked on both sides by tall slender pale beings. I did not look up to see their faces because my eyes were on the grey and I was mesmerized. He wore a jewel or stone of some kind on his forehead between his eyes and my immediate thought was "he's a king!"
Nothing was said between us, but I know what he was conveying to me. It wasn't in words. It was simply knowledge. The message was basically this:
I have given you things that make you different than others. You will have many trials ahead of you in your life. Eventually, you will use your skills in your mission. You will not see me again (followed by an almost faintly wistful feeling of pride from him which I got the sense was a rare emotion).
It's hard to explain this part. While he was there, I was also aware he was outside of my window in a space not on this plane. I have always been spatially gifted and store knowledge outside my body (more on that later). I wasn't sure if this was the case with him or he was literally traveling from the room to the outside as the thought transference ended. I felt a strange bond with him, as if he was father-like and understood me like no one else ever would. I was sad he was leaving. I was very worried about these trials. I thought it meant I'd be in trouble all my life.
When the therapist took me out of the hyponosis, I had not described any of this to her because she had not asked me to tell her what I saw. In hypnotic state, responses are very literal. I couldn't do something if she didn't offer it.
I left the session puzzled. I did not believe in aliens. They did not exist. Therefore, hyponosis was not a legitimate means to recall things or make new behaviors. A totally bogus business, nothing more than a dream/fantasy state!
I never went back.
But, something about it hung over me. What was conveyed made sense. I had some very odd abilities (or as I thought of them, disabilities) and I did have a life that was wrought with trials since early childhood.
Over a decade later, in 2003, having put it all aside, I was compelled to begin paranormal investigating to get answers to the oddities I had experienced all my life. This was initiated by prophetic dreams in my adulthood that came to be true within 48 hours in amazing detail. I did not know how to deal with these dreams and I had not used my other psychic skills since I was an adolescent when I wanted to fit in and especially when I started dating my husband, I put them underground in deep freeze for decades. There was much I was avoiding and I needed to now examine, as I couldn't escape the very real fact I had some highly unusual skills that were hard to keep down.
In 2008, I started this blog and even then was afraid to reveal my true self, calling myself "Autumnforest." I was in the death throes of my marriage and gathering my bravery to leave inch by slow inch. The more I used my skills in my blog and investigations, the more I was sure I couldn't stay in the marriage. But, letting the real me out, threatened the relationship even more. I had suppressed my abilities and my interests since I was 16 to make him happy and be what he wanted - a woman with no mystery, no oddities or imperfections, and certainly no para-experiences.
Once I went through the divorce in 2010, things began to really happen for me. What I once thought were "flaws" that made me different in a bad way were strengths. Here are some of them:
High IQ. The school called mom in when I took the test. I thought I was in trouble. Mom hid the score from me. She was unsure what to do. They wanted to customize schooling for me. I later paid my brother to show me the paper and when I read the score and found out I was in genius level, suddenly things made sense - like why I could get As on tests with zero studying and barely any attention paid during lessons and never reading the books. I didn't understand why I could do many things at one time and do them well and others struggled to focus on one sentence. I was bored, restless, daydreaming. A typical gifted child. I took the test again in my 40s and got the same score, confirming what I already suspected.
Facial amnesia. I cannot conjure a single face in my mind, not even my own or my son's or anyone's. I simply am blank. I spent a lifetime not looking at faces because it wouldn't matter if I looked, I wouldn't remember them. I focus on one tiny aspect of a person to identify them. If I run into someone where I don't expect them, I have no clue who they are. If I expect to meet them, I look for the tall bald man who wears faded jeans and uses his hands when he talks and those kinds of cues. Even in my dreams, I have never once looked at a face - I simply instinctively know who it is.
Spaital giftedness and spatial synesthesia. This is a hard one to explain, but I store information outside my body in a grid of sorts, different heights, quadrants, distances from me, especially time like days of the week and months of the year. I do not see calendars in my mind. Monday is jslightly left of my left eye, about 6 feet off the ground and about 6 feet away from my body.
Psychic skills. Since I was a child digging up relics at our estate, I've been able to read objects by touching them (psychometry) and later found other skills like out of body travels, remote viewing, and prophetic dreams that come true.
*psychic testing online above*
In working the blog and writing and coming up with hypotheses in the field of paranormal study, these unusual skills were being utilized all the time. Still, I did not believe in aliens, only that they were fantasies. That is, until 2012.
I was chugging along as a now single person, publishing books on paranormal and horror, running my blog, working a full-time miserable job that I hated, and exhausting myself with a desire to make up for lost time (the marriage did not allow for paranormal exploration), also trying to get caught up on the paranormal realm and studying Bigfoot. I had gone onto some Bigfoot sites regularly and my intelligent and sharp banter with the idiot trolls in Bigfoot sites got the attention of some people - one person who would become very prominent in my life.
I went to bed one night and awakened, wide awake for no reason. I pulled the blanket back, sat up and swung my legs around to go to the bathroom, but in front of me was a grey alien. I knew he wasn't alone. I looked at the corner of the bed at the foot of the bed and there was another. There was another at the foot of the bed and one more on the other side of my bed. They were encircling it. The immediate collective basic thought from them was like, "Oh shit! She wasn't supposed to see us!" Of course, there were no words in my head, just a knowledge that they were not expecting me to awaken.
I saw an orange-red light and turned. The one at the foot of the bed was awash in this light that seemed as if it came from above him in a cone shape and then got very bright and blocked him out and he disappeared. The one next to me became awash in the same orange-red cone-shaped light and disappeared. The one at the corner foot of the bed too. Then, I glanced at the one on the other side of the bed and he turned away as if he thought I wouldn't see him while he awaited the light. I was thinking in my head something to the effect of, "dude I can totally see you." I reached out, hoping to touch the skin on his arm and he became awash in the orange-red light and disappeared.
I was on all four on the bed and the room smelled of ozone, then temperature dropped drastically and very quickly it heated up very warm and then leveled off. I got up, inspecting the carpet and the room, peering out between the blinds to the still night and the apartment complex lanterns were glowing as usual. It was still and quiet.
When they had been in the room, the collective message they embedded me with was:
You have progressed, you are using your abilities, and you are ready for your mission.
The next day, out of the blue, I got an email from a man who wanted to talk about Bigfoot with me. He called me a while later. After that several-hour long call, I realized my mission might have just arrived.
He had read my writings online and appreciated my sass, my mind, my bravery to stand up to the morons in the field, and my attitude about protection and respect for our co-inhabitants, the Tall Ones. He wanted me to join a group of thoughtful researchers who quietly and behind the scenes worked to develop understanding, communication, and protections.
As it turned out, he became my dearest friend and the mentor I had not had since my father was alive (he died when I was 16). We discussed Bigfoot and life and its lessons.
I had quietly dared the aliens to give me a means to get out of my miserable career and be free to research and go out in the field and contribute more to this mission. Ironically, when I had voiced that opinion, my mentor started asking if I'd ever thought of stock trading. I had only 2 years experience at paying bills and balancing checkbooks. I was never a numbers person. He reminded me of my IQ and I decided it was time to test it. He started teaching me stock trading and I took off with it for the next year and a half. I was utilizing all my unusual skills in this venture and it was proving to be the ideal use of my abilities.
I continued on in the field of research in all things paranormal and gathering a greater understanding of many aspects of the world we have been oblivious to the signficance of. At times, it felt like I was unfolding spiritually as well as mentally. I wanted to quit my job in the late fall of 2013, but felt insecure about it. I had never been without work and paying my own benefits and such, it sounded very daunting. I daily went back and forth, feeling sure, then insecure. I was vacillating and my body was deteriorating from the desk job with horrid sciatica that made me no longer able to feel my feet and in great pain.
Then, a couple months ago, out of the blue, another visit. This time - the grey from my childhood the one with the decorative stone on his forehead.
I woke up in my bed. Wide awake as if I had been summoned. I was staring at the ceiling, but I saw something out of the corner of my eye beside me that should not be there. I started to turn my head, but was told basically "do not look." I obeyed. I studied the ceiling. I knew it was him, the grey from my childhood, the one I thought of as a second father. His message was basically this:
You will find the schism between the worlds. You will open and close the door at will in front of witnesses.
From the corner of my eye, a flash of orange red light, ozone, cold, and heat. Then, quiet and normal all over again within seconds.
I got up, got a drink of water, looked outside, came back, lied down, realized it was all over and my mind raced with knowledge. I had no idea where it came from, but I was being "downloaded" a vision of the world and this is the best I can describe it:
It began with the formation of this world in a physical form, the interaction of ethereal types from other parallel worlds who came and went freely. Man was formed and lived here, interacting with these spiritual-like beings readily. Thus fantastic spirituality and religious concepts were born in man based on factual understanding of the universes. But, over time and formation of the final man, the worlds were closed off to allow this physical world to develop and evolve. Man was also left with the pineal gland in the brain to allow for cycles that created sleep and dream state where he would rememer his origins in worlds with no physical form. There were fissures that remained between our world and theirs, allowing beings from the other realms to come and go from time to time, working to not interrupt the growth of the man here on this thing we call Earth., yet giving us glimpses to try and shake our collective amnesia and test our openness to knowledge of other realms. Periodically, aliens, monsters, and spirit forms come and go and we glimpse them, but they return to their realms. It has come to a time where they try to give us more encounters to gauge man's reaction to such concepts and if we are ready to accept the reopening of the fissures and interacting with other realms or if we are too primitive and caught up in the physical form, forgetting the ethereal, as thus far the only time we truly escape it is in death when we realize our true origins and join the universal collective again. If we do not accept concepts like Bigfoot and aliens and spirits well, then the fissures will be closed and such interactions will never occur again. And, man's soul will be trapped here, as well.
As exceptional as all of this vision of the world was in the middle of the night after another alien visitation, I lied back on the pillow and fell asleep. Before sunrise, I had a dream. My cell phone made a texting sound. I looked at the screen in my dream and in the bottom corner of the screen in large white letters it spelled out "OPEN DOOR" in all capital letters.
My eyes flew open. I sat up. What a night!
Since that time, things have moved at an accelerated pace, information being dropped in front of me that does not seem coincidental, but purposeful, meeting people who provide other parts of the puzzle, and all the time wondering about how to open and close this door between the worlds for people to see the other side. It seems like such a huge request of anyone, much less overtaxed and overworked me. I tried not to sweat it. After all, if it was that important, wouldn't they have given me instructions? And, almost immediately, I quit my job and took the big plunge. I realized that if I was given these skills and don't use them to my advantage, I was not truly living, only existing. They seemed to have opened paths to make it possible for me to take my "mission" further.
A few nights ago, I had a dream in which I was in a room. I had no body, did not need to breathe, was everywhere and nowhere at the same time. It was dark and strange. I was able to feel the texture with my mind and see light with sound. It was synesthetic and wild. I called out "hello?" and my voice echoed and I realized I was in a lock, like the locks of a canal that help a ship to rise and lower to get through to the other body of water. This was a lock between worlds. It wasn't just a door to the other side. It was spatial chambers that allow you to get used to each phase of the transition from losing your body and physical needs to shedding your 5 senses and 3-dimensional mindset. I was in the middle lock, close to the end, but I was afraid. I woke myself up to get out of it.
Is this what the doorways between the world are like? I honestly believe it is. Something like the near-death experience to prepare you, to shed the body and the mortal plane for something ethereal and omnipotent.
Ultimately, the responsibility lays on my shoulders to prove that these encounters were real. I was ready to throw it all out because little gray men from other planets is ridiculous, right? So, why am I taking it more seriously now? Because things are coming together as they said and I am being given so many obviously blatant signals, that I either have to believe I'm part of some great Matrix that is forcing me to play out a plot or I am truly being given crumbs and a path. Since I am curious by nature, I will continue to follow these crumbs, fearlessly and unrelentingly.
After all, you don't give someone gifts and expect them not to use them -
